bluflamingo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluflamingo) wrote2009-10-20 03:48 pm
bluflamingo) wrote2009-10-20 03:48 pm
Entry tags:
I'm back...
Lit Fest was amazing (I think - I'm so tired I feel sick, I have a streaming cold, and I just spent half an hour crying for no reason, so I may not have the clearest memory). Got to dress up as Horrid Henry, which was fun; rode in a lift with Ranulph Fiennes (he said: you looked stressed and damp, I said: that sounds about right; I was probably very snappish, but I think I smiled). Simon Schama went on stage drunk, though no-one seemed to mind, Andrew Marr was unsurprisingly awesome, and I got to hear about moss bears (they have another name, which I can't remember, but they can 'live' for 100 years with all the water drained out of them and then come back to life if more gets added. I can't stop thinking about the weirdness of that).
I also found this in The Times (the Times sponsor the festival, so we get a lot of free newspapers every day (like, 50,000 a lot). We all get very good at sudoku):
Things you only know if you're single...that 'I love you' may mean:
I want to love you; I love this; do that again; don’t leave; I feel I should love you; I love fucking you; my previous boy/girlfriend would never have done that; I’m sorry; I appear to like you more than all the others; shush; do what I want; you are infuriating; this silence embarrasses me; I have to go; I feel old; I feel responsible; I feel obliged to love you back; help me; I’m ending this; life without you may be preferable, but would be terrifying, rudderless, unknown; everyone else seems to love you; I love the look of you; stop shouting; I’m punching above my weight; I would appear to be in some way addicted to you; seeing you with someone else makes my chest hurt; there must be a reason why I have never felt more awful; I think about you as a way of not thinking about something else; I hate you; that song is playing; you cause me more pain than other people; I’m tired of being on my own; it’s comfortable having you around; I am sick of everyone else coming in two by two; you fit the definition of someone I might be expected to love; you appear to love me; I’m exhausted so this will suffice; loving someone makes me look like a functional human being; you make things easier while note having become an albatross about my neck; I’m tired of myself; Christmas/Chanukkah/Kwanzaa is coming up; I love myself in your company; you pay me the requisite attention; I relish our sense of conspiracy; you are a(nother) glorious and necessary distraction from my inglorious and unnecessary existence; you unnerve me; you raise my game; say that you love me.
About which I have two things to say:
1. This is why I don't care that I'm single, and why I don't particularly want to find someone to spend my life with. I don't want someone to mean any of that when they say that they love me, and I don't want to mean it when I say it to them (particularly the last one; I've done that, and it really hurts).
2. Why are we so often hung up in fic on the moment when one character says to another that they love them? I know in fic it's meant in a good way, but why does it have to be said in those words, when those words might mean any of this, even if they don't in that situation?
And that's it for me and depressing. I think I'm going to use my depressing mood to go write my Gen Kill exchange fic, because I really want the next John/Cam fic I write to be happier than the one I just finished.
I also found this in The Times (the Times sponsor the festival, so we get a lot of free newspapers every day (like, 50,000 a lot). We all get very good at sudoku):
Things you only know if you're single...that 'I love you' may mean:
I want to love you; I love this; do that again; don’t leave; I feel I should love you; I love fucking you; my previous boy/girlfriend would never have done that; I’m sorry; I appear to like you more than all the others; shush; do what I want; you are infuriating; this silence embarrasses me; I have to go; I feel old; I feel responsible; I feel obliged to love you back; help me; I’m ending this; life without you may be preferable, but would be terrifying, rudderless, unknown; everyone else seems to love you; I love the look of you; stop shouting; I’m punching above my weight; I would appear to be in some way addicted to you; seeing you with someone else makes my chest hurt; there must be a reason why I have never felt more awful; I think about you as a way of not thinking about something else; I hate you; that song is playing; you cause me more pain than other people; I’m tired of being on my own; it’s comfortable having you around; I am sick of everyone else coming in two by two; you fit the definition of someone I might be expected to love; you appear to love me; I’m exhausted so this will suffice; loving someone makes me look like a functional human being; you make things easier while note having become an albatross about my neck; I’m tired of myself; Christmas/Chanukkah/Kwanzaa is coming up; I love myself in your company; you pay me the requisite attention; I relish our sense of conspiracy; you are a(nother) glorious and necessary distraction from my inglorious and unnecessary existence; you unnerve me; you raise my game; say that you love me.
About which I have two things to say:
1. This is why I don't care that I'm single, and why I don't particularly want to find someone to spend my life with. I don't want someone to mean any of that when they say that they love me, and I don't want to mean it when I say it to them (particularly the last one; I've done that, and it really hurts).
2. Why are we so often hung up in fic on the moment when one character says to another that they love them? I know in fic it's meant in a good way, but why does it have to be said in those words, when those words might mean any of this, even if they don't in that situation?
And that's it for me and depressing. I think I'm going to use my depressing mood to go write my Gen Kill exchange fic, because I really want the next John/Cam fic I write to be happier than the one I just finished.
no subject
Clearly I was smoking something when I wrote that first comment. Also, I think I should stop commenting altogether, as I'm no longer certain she's writing it for a fest you're running (it might be though!), and I should probably go hide in a hole now.
Hmm, but that's a good thing, it means there's even more Cam fic out there than I was anticipating :o)
Research law sounds...incredibly dull. Hope you don't doze off...