bluflamingo | (no subject)

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xmas ficlets

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So, I was going to post a whole ranty thing about stupid men who say stupid things and behave like creeps, and stupid straight people who say stupid homophobic things, and how much I hate the phrase "just happens to be gay" without being able to put my finger on why I hate it...

But then I decided that actually, since it's -5 outside, maybe cheerful and happy was the way forward, so:

1. I have finished my sheppardhc fic, I have finished my sga-santa fic, and I have finished the fic that someone won me to write for a charity. I also have nearly 1000 words of 3ships fic, and an actual plot. Then holiday ficlets, flyboys, and finally the accursed sequel to What Happens Next, since I've been writing it for over a year, wth?!

2. Final call for holiday ficlets. Speak now or forever...

3. I have *all* my Christmas presents. I've even wrapped the ones that have to go back with my parents tomorrow (of which there are actually only two, but still!)

4. I want to get a cat. I mean, I've been saying this for ages, but I'm starting to seriously think I might do it (unless my landlord says no. I'm putting off asking him in case he does. I like my fantasy cat too much to give it up if I can't have a reality cat). Cat people - what's your view on house cats that don't go out? (I live on a second floor flat off a busy road) I've never been much with pets, though my sister had the usual rabbit/mice/hamsters etc. Are cats hard? I'm kind of saying to everyone I know that I want a cat, I think because I'm trying to sound them out without actually asking if they think it's a good idea (or indeed if I'm just doing it because I'm lonely-I keep dreaming about a little kitten and the dreams make me really sad, and getting from sad kitten dreams to lonely is one of the less fun parts of counselling). No big decisions till after Christmas is my rule, but... I want a cat!

5. Okay, I *know* there was a point 5, but hell if I know what it was. talk amongst yourselves :)

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I have had 2 indoor-only cats. The first was afraid of almost everything, so wanting to go outside was not an issue. My current cat is more adventurous and would love to get out, if only I didn't block the escape routes, oh noes! On the whole, I think cats aren't too much work (kittens, otoh, can be); you just have to be ready to dispense food on a regular basis, clean out the litter box, and pet as required (cats differ as to how much/what kind of petting is necessary). Aside from being warm and furry, they provide an excellent excuse for talking out loud to yourself. *g*

An excuse to talk to myself sounds good - especially since I do it anyway at the moment! Food, litter and petting sounds about my level of ability when it comes to pet, I think - thanks!

I have an indoor cat and aside from the occasional whine about wanting to go outside and catch birds, he doesn't seem to mind at all. It's better and safer for them to be indoors. Cats are easy. Not always social, but generally simple to take care of. You don't have to walk them, they know where the litter box is, and are an endless source of comfort and amusement.

Kittens are rambunctious. Be warned of that. They love to attack, pounce, and generally bother you. But they are trainable. I know I'd be very lonely without my kitty, Kipling, to keep me company. He sheds enough to carpet a small country, but I wouldn't trade him for the world.

A kitten kind of scares me - all that energy in a tiny package! I'm thinking of getting a rescue cat instead, since I've lived with one before. And we don't have any birds round here, so that shouldn't be a problem :)

I had* two indoor-only cats that I got as kittens, and I think they were fine being indoor-only. Certainly it was safer for them, especially given where we were living. (Many cat rescue groups around here won't let people adopt unless they promise to keep the cats indoors. They also tend to recommend that if you're getting kittens, you consider getting two rather than one so that they can keep each other company. But of course, that depends on the temperament of the cat: some cats do fine by themselves, and some really like having company.)

And I agree with everyone else: generally cats are pretty easy. Feed 'em daily, make sure they have water, clean the litter box reasonably regularly, and you're good. Well, and pet and play with them of course, but again, that depends on the cat. Some cats can't get enough human attention, and some prefer to hang around by themselves.

Do be prepared for a bit of property damage, though. Good furniture doesn't always survive cats.

* The cats stayed with the ex when I moved out.

Good furniture doesn't always survive cats

That's okay - all my furniture is cheap secondhand stuff, I don't have any good furniture!

Sorry you got split up from your cats :(

Losing the cats sucked, but there was no choice really. After I moved out, I moved back in with my parents and my mother's allergic to cats, so they had to stay where they were. And my ex adored them, so at least I knew they'd be well cared for.

indoor cats are fine - cats are lovely, get one! Will ruin your holidays though - will your neighbours feed it if you need to go away?

yeah, a friend of mine already agreed to either cat sit or take the cat to hers to stay if I go away. Not that I go away very often.

Re: kitties... In my experience, there are some cats that are just not meant to be indoor-only critters. They climb the walls (occasionally literally), or are miserably sulky, etc. This number, though, tends to be overestimated by the general public. There are a lot more people who assume that their cat needs outdoor time than their are cats that actually do.

This is... sort of a soapbox issue with me. People have a tendency to assume that Fluffy's life is incomplete without the chance to play outside, and then equally assume that he's going to be reasonably safe out there because, hey, he's a cat. A lot of nasty stuff happens to cats who could otherwise have been perfectly happy inside. By contrast, very few people think it's a good idea to turn their dog out to roam freely and get in touch with his inner wolf. (Not that cats are just small dogs; I have a couple of professors who'd have my head for even suggesting that one. *g*) The main point is, your average domestic cat has no more idea how to avoid roads and toxins and predators than any other pet, and it's important to weigh that up against how much their quality of life is impacted by being kept inside. The happiest medium I know of is to get your cat used to having some regular supervised time outside with you, if you've got a good spot for it. It's not the end of the world by any stretch, though, if you don't.

The vast majority of cats do enjoy getting to poke around outside, yes, but most of them don't require it to be happy and healthy. They do all need entertainment, to greater and lesser extents, and that's usually where you come in. If your kitty would be alone often, it's probably smart to invest in some interactive toys that he or she can play with. It's also great to schedule in some playtime whenever you're home, so that it becomes a standard activity for you.

Cat selection is also pretty important here. I wouldn't try to convert a cat that has previously been outdoors to an indoor-only setup; as in most things, cats aren't always big fans of change. In this respect, a kitten or an indoor-only adult might be the way to go. Kittens are adorable, but definitely harder to deal with in general. They often take about a year to really settle down and lose that manic kitten energy, but then, some people are really entertained by that, so... *shrug* YMMV, pretty much. Both of my cats were somewhere between 6 months to a year old when I got them, which was great because they already had their personalities figured out and I knew going in that they were cuddlemonkeys.

Wow, that turned into a lot of words. Sorry. Once you get all the beginning stuff sorted out, though, cats are pretty low-maintenance. So long at they've got food, water, clean litter, and your attention, they're good. *g*

They often take about a year to really settle down and lose that manic kitten energy

Omg, the kitten busies! I got my third cat when he wandered into my yard at 4 weeks of age and yeah, we went through a good year and a half of PLAYPLAYPLAYOMGBEARSPLAYPLAY!!! He has, though, adopted a far more cat-like interest in naps in the last year...

Hee, kitten busies :) Sounds much cuter than it probably is in reality

Oh, I don't know--I found it pretty adorable in reality. And highly entertaining. But of course, that was where having two kittens came in handy: they could expend some of that energy on each other rather than requiring us to fill the role all of the time. And there were two adults to play with. If it were just me and one kitten, I might have a different view on things.

Edited 2010-12-08 19:09 (UTC)

My somewhat older female cat, who bore the brunt of moost of it, found it cute up to a point - she'd play along for a while, then just pin him to the ground and chew on his head until he stopped. But it was everything: no piece of paper went uninvestigated, no moth went uncaught, no rug escaped vanquishment... exhausting, yeah.

Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful response! I live on a busy road, so going out to roam free would be out anyway, but I do have a balcony - a cat could roam on there :) But yeah, no cats when we were kids because they got run over too often, and now my parents neighbours' gorgeous kitten has just been run over as well, so I'm all for indoor cats.

First cat was indoor only but loved escaping - we had the door argument daily for 15 years. I prevailed, generally. The current cats are very happy as indoor cats and display no interest whatsoever in the door or the out of doors, which is good, as it is *hazardous* out there - pit bulls, raccoons, ferals, traffic, etc.

Cats are easy. Keep the box clean, establish a feeding routine you can live with, talk to them, play with them, interact with them, and get them used to dealing with a minder once in a while and they will be fine. And remember, if you do get a cat & have questions, you've got scads of folks on your flist who can answer them for you!

(I adore my cats & miss them a lot right now... the apt I'm in feels very empty without felines.)

I have to say, I hadn't realised how many cat people I had on my flist until I asked for advice - it's like a virtual knitting circle or something, I love it. Thanks for the advice and comments!

the cat I used to live with (I tend to say 'ours' but she belonged to my landlord) was in constant negotiation with us on feeding times...we wanted 8am and 7pm, she wanted 6am and 6.30pm... as far as I know, that battle is ongoing. Think it was to do with light levels though, as in summer she was always very keen for early breakfast but in winter she didn't mind staying in bed.

(I really should get a cat icon)

One of the things about the phrase "just happens to be gay" is that it erases/ignore the very real difficulty of coming out; the stress and fear and just tediousness of combating others' assumptions about yourself. Also, while it's great that someone doesn't mind another person's sexuality, the phrase also ignores the fact that it's information about someone that could (in certain circumstances) put that person's life in danger. It's casual about revealing that person's sexuality, when that casualness is rare and hard one for the person themselves.

Yeah, I think that's it. And the kind of... you wouldn't say someone 'happens to be' straight, because everyone is straight, right, so why bother commenting? Which is annoying. And that, yeah, being gay is going to have an impact on a person's life, even if it's just little stuff like having to correct people that it's girlfriend not boyfriend, and decide whether to tell people all the time or let them assume and... So happens to be gay implies that they're said to be gay but we never see how that impacts on their life at all - like, not only do they never date or anything, but it just never ever comes up, which isn't real.

Just happens to be gay gets up my nose because it's one of those phrases like "white, black, yellow or green" that just drips privilege - they are all about the person using the phrase to show how magnanimous & unprejudiced they are, not about, as you say, the lived experience of the gay person in question. For me, "just happens to be ~" is a synecdoche for "they're just like a normal person except they just happen to be ~, and we love them in spite of that. Aren't we awesome for being so forbearing?" Ah, no.

Aren't we awesome for being so forbearing?"

Yeah, that! Like, "He's gay, but he's a great person." Um, not mutually exclusive, there!

As soon as I moved out on my own, I got a cat. Since then, I've had several at various times. They've ONLY been indoors cats. I've never let them out. And they really didn't fight me for the door. Cats like to be loved, played with and provided for. Get them good food, get in the habit of scooping the litter box each morning so it's always clean (and that way, it won't start smelling), and keep fresh water and food down - and happy cats! Scratching posts, some toys, some catnip - heaven.

Little kittens are more work, always active, and you really don't know their temperment right away. I'd suggest visiting the pound and some rescue societys and sitting with some kitties. See who comes to YOU. See who demands to be loved.

My latest cat I got after my 1st, old cat died. She's a year and a half and I got her at the local pet food store - a rescue place who had a number of cats. She's the one, when I stepped behind the barrier who came to me. Meowed at me and DEMANDED to be petted. And even tried to keep me near her with her claws (delicately). Surprising the rescue people - who claimed she was standoffish. Right now, she's stretched across my shoulders, loves to have her belly petted, is really good about using her scratching post and is calm and regal when friends visit. Even friends with kids.

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