(no subject)

This was going to be a whiny, cursing post about my lgbtfest fic and how it won't work, and how ridiculous it is that I'm finding this so hard when, hey, lgbt issues are something I feel like I can talk reasonably knowledgeably about.

Then I opened up the file this evening to poke at it some more, and realized that, huh, the reason it's not working is that I'm not actually telling the story I think I'm telling. Or rather, that I am, but that I'm trying to tell it from out of John's head and it has to come from out of Lorne's instead.

So there go another 3 1/2 thousand words to join the other 2 1/2 thousand sitting in the cut file. I've never written anything where I've (a) started over so many times (this will be version 4) and (b) got so far into it before I realised why it wasn't working.

I'm not sure if this is encouraging or demoralising, though that fact that I wanted to be done with it by this time last week and am instead starting over *again* is definitely that latter.

I want to be writing my big bang fic instead *stomps foot*