SGA/SG1: 5 people John Sheppard included in his will, and what he left to them (John/Cam)

[bluflamingo]

Originally posted at sg1_five_things:



Five people John Sheppard included in his will, and what he left to them:

When he’s writing his will, John knows that people won’t get it. He’s tempted to let them puzzle over it, something to distract them from what isn’t there, but in the end he can’t do it. He relies a lot on what he shows instead of saying, but, as it turns out, there are some things that he has to be sure people hear. Even if they’re only hearing them from paper, after he’s gone.

1. To Rodney, his surf board:

Yeah, I know – you hate the outdoors, you have sensitive skin that burns easily, you don’t like the water and, oh, by the way, surfing is a stupid pass-time that will most likely get you killed. Though, hey, you’ll be in good company, with the last one.

Try it, you might like it; wouldn’t be the first time that happened to you in Pegasus. Ronon knows how to surf, get him to teach you. And Teyla knows a good planet for something like board wax, make sure she takes you.

You’re so much better at physical stuff now than you were when we got here. You’ll pick it up easily. It’s fun. It’s like flying.


2. To Teyla, his Hail Mary video:

I don’t know if we even still have a video player in Atlantis, but talk to Rodney and Zelenka. They can probably put one together in an afternoon. I know you never really got the point of football (fair’s fair; I never really got the point of that Athosian kids’ game with the twelve different-colored balls). Ronon did, mostly, maybe he can explain it better than me. There’s got to be something similar somewhere in Pegasus.

I just – it makes me think of you. And Rodney and Ford and Elizabeth, when we first got here, and everything was It’s a good memory, is all, and we never have enough of those.


3. To Ronon, his sudoku books:

You remember telling me you wished you knew more about science, when the Replicators attacked us on the old planet? That’s more Rodney’s area than mine, so this is the closest I can get. They’re a bit like strategy puzzles, in an abstract kind of way. I’m pretty sure Teyla sneaks the ones I’m half-done with, I’m not sure why. She’ll probably tell you. I just get the innocent face.

It seems like the thing to do would be to leave you my weapon, but yours is much cooler. Though you’re welcome to the P-90 if you want it.

It’s been a pleasure. Don’t leave the city just because I’m gone.


4. To Teyla’s son, his skateboard:

Your mom’s going to hate me for this, but trust me, it’ll be worth it. Every kid should have a chance to bruise his knees falling off a skateboard; it’s not my fault that your galaxy hasn’t invented them yet. You could make a killing as the first skateboard retailer in Pegasus. Maybe learn to ride one first though. Go to Lorne, he knows how, even if he doesn’t seem like he would. Must have had a misspent youth.

I don’t know if you’ll remember me; I don’t know how old you’ll be now. But you were the first child to grow up in Atlantis for ten thousand years. I don’t know what that makes you, really, but we always thought it made you amazing. I’m sorry I’m not around to see what you’ll do next, but I bet it makes everyone proud.

Not that you need to do anything for that. We were always proud of you, right from the start, and we always loved you. Nothing will ever change that.


5. To Cameron Mitchell, nothing but this:

I’m really sorry. I don’t know what happened, but believe me, I’m sorry. McKay promised he’d tell you in person, but he doesn’t have this note. I hope it helped.

Did I ever tell you I sometimes thought about what would happen, later? When we were both done saving the world, or trying to. I guess there’s no point telling you now, but I never imagined that you wouldn’t be there. I never imagined that I wouldn’t be there either, which just goes to show how wrong I can be.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I pretty much thought I’d be with you forever, and it hurts to think that now I’m not. And I’m sorry for hurting you by leaving. I didn’t mean that to happen.

And in case it’s not completely fucking obvious, or I never said, which is honestly kind of likely: I love you.



And, because I kept thinking of others once I got going:



3 more people he also included:

To Keller, his guitar:

Don’t tell Ronon I know this, because he likes to keep up his silent man of mystery image, but he told me you didn’t have a lot of time for fun at college. Don’t get mad either – he was drunk when he told me.

I guess that didn’t leave much time for things like music, and God knows there’s not a lot of free time on Atlantis, but guitar’s easy to pick up, and I’m sure there are people who can teach you. And everyone likes a girl with a guitar – trust me on this.

You’re not a replacement for Carson. Or, you are, but not in a bad way. Thank you for everything, and thank you for trying this time.


To Lorne, his Johnny Cash poster, and the office ipod:

It’s been an honor and a privilege to work with you. I’m sorry I won’t be around to watch you get promoted and do amazing things.

I’m not sorry that I won’t be around to watch someone else steal you out from under us. I don’t know what we’d have done without you half the time.


To Dave, the money still sitting in his trust fund account:

I’m sure you don’t need this, but divide it up between the girls. I’m sure you’ve got college funds for both of them. Don’t tell them where it came from though – promise me. They don’t even know who I am, they don’t need to know that I’m dead.

I don’t know what else to say.

Comments

[carta.livejournal.com]

#5 made my Cam/Sheppard heart both happy and sad.

[athousanderrors.livejournal.com]

Even though I knew it was a will, I was sitting there snorting with amusement at most of these, until Dave's. Cam's, too, was sad, but Dave's was the one that made me go all quiet.

Lovely.

*uses inappropriate icon*

[10pmpacifictime.livejournal.com]

Ok. I am admittedly an emotional person, but I could probably count on one hand the number of times that a fic has pulled any kind of emotional reaction from me.

I like the fact that the ones for Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon all include little hints that they need to hang together:

Ronon knows how to surf, get him to teach you. And Teyla knows a good planet for something like board wax, make sure she takes you....

I don’t know if we even still have a video player in Atlantis, but talk to Rodney and Zelenka.... Ronon did, mostly, maybe he can explain it better than me.

You remember telling me you wished you knew more about science...That’s more Rodney’s area than mine.... Teyla sneaks the ones I’m half-done with, I’m not sure why. She’ll probably tell you.


The Cam one made me cry. And then I kept reading and the Dave one hurt just as much as the Cam one. Cam and Dave (and the nieces and his sister-in-law) are two parts of his life that he just isn't experiencing, for one reason or another as much as he could, and it hurts to think of him writing up his will and dying without ever connecting with them....

John admitting to Cam that he thought they'd be together forever and also the thought that the only time that he'd ever admit that to Cam is after he's dead.... Oh, God.

[miss-zedem.livejournal.com]

Oh, this made me cry. Not many fics manage that, but this was just so beautifully simple.

It’s been a pleasure. Don’t leave the city just because I’m gone. - I love this. I love that Shep knows that Ronon stays for the people, not the place.

Go to Lorne, he knows how, even if he doesn’t seem like he would. Oh, ow. Poor Lorne. Shep knows how everyone sees him, but he sees past that.

And in case it’s not completely fucking obvious, or I never said, which is honestly kind of likely: I love you. *sniff* The whole one for Cam was gorgeous, but this just about killed me. It's just so John that he knew he'd never get around to saying it.

I don’t know what we’d have done without you half the time. Meep. I love Lorne, and I'm glad John does too.

I don’t know what else to say. *melts* John has such messed up relationships in his life. He can be so open and giving, yet with the people he really cares about, it's like he just doesn't know where to start.

Great job with these!

[skieswideopen]

I like the perversity of some of the choices--encouraging people to stretch their boundaries. That seems like something Sheppard might do.

I particularly liked Lorne's note, too, because on the show he seems under-appreciated, and so it's nice to get that appreciation in the end.

And of course, John and Cam. The last line is just perfect and sad.

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

Oh, John! Oh, Cameron...

And yeah, he never did get around to saying it, but there was something in his touch, in the way his hands shaped themselves around Cameron's jaw when they kissed, that told Cam everything he needed to know.

But it's good to hear it just the same. Even if that's what finally breaks him.

[slybrarian.livejournal.com]

Each one of those is perfect. I really like how it shows John's relationship with each of them, and I think it fits him really well that he'd take the time to figure out all of this ahead of time, because while he can be reckless about some things he never is when it's truly important.

The last line for Cam sums up the entire piece perfectly, because I can completely see John managing to write things he'd never say in person, and that he knows that he probably wouldn't. Of course, on a lighter note part of writing it down in this context is, "I'll never have to look any of them in the eye after they get this, which is good because I'd die of embarrassment anyways," which probably helps him a lot.

[ninja007.livejournal.com]

OMG, you made me cry when I got to his message to Cam... Next to Jack/Daniel, John/Cam is my favorite pairing.

Excellent and well done.

You left me wanting more...

[ninja007.livejournal.com]

Oh, and PS:

Loved each one. *still crying*

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, mine too. I like imagining Cam getting the note when he's about seventy and they've been living together since they retired, and being grateful that they got a lot more than John was hoping for.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

*uses inappropriate icon*

Yeah, but cute :)

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

The Cam one made me cry.

Me too, and I was writing it :) I think it's the thought that, even if everything went much much better in the end, he wasn't really expecting it to.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

He can be so open and giving, yet with the people he really cares about, it's like he just doesn't know where to start.


Yeah, definitely. I think he'd actually like the idea of writing it down to tell them once he's dead, because he can be *sure* that they know then, without ever having to find a way to tell them.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

I like the perversity of some of the choices--encouraging people to stretch their boundaries.

Yeah, and to need other people for it - almost like a distraction technique.

I particularly liked Lorne's note, too, because on the show he seems under-appreciated, and so it's nice to get that appreciation in the end.

Thank you - I really love Lorne, so it had to go in there somewhere :)

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Even if that's what finally breaks him.

Yeah. I was imagining Cam getting the note while I was writing it; sitting in his office at the SGC, and kind of caught between laughing and crying and really really wanting to shake John for doing this to him, because it's been a month at this point, and now he doesn't know if it's better to know this for certain from John's words or just to be pretty sure it was true.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Of course, on a lighter note part of writing it down in this context is, "I'll never have to look any of them in the eye after they get this, which is good because I'd die of embarrassment anyways," which probably helps him a lot.

Yeah, and also it's almost license not to say it, because he knows they'll hear it eventually, as long as he dies first. Which is a pretty fatalistic way of looking at it, but probably not that unrealistic.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[camshaft22.livejournal.com]

Fantastic!!

Everyone was spot on but the Cam one murdered me. You completely win.

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kyizi.livejournal.com]

Number 5 made my cry at work. Actually cry. I fobbed it off as something in my eye. (yes, I should be working, not reading, but omg the latter is so much more fun)

I like to think this is part of your John/Cam Return series, because omg it just works! I'll pretend that's where it is, because OMG John/Cam and he left nothing but an I love you and omg *flails*

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Sorry it made you cry at work :(

I like to think this is part of your John/Cam Return series, because omg it just works!

It definitely could be - the whole thing about Rodney telling Cam that John's died comes from Speak of This, which is return'verse.

[kyizi.livejournal.com]

having just come across these replies in my inbox (I'm so far behind!) I want to go read again... Yeah, work is still dull, so I think I might. Good entertainment for the afternoon ;)