(no subject)

[bluflamingo]

I've got a whole long list of things I *should* be writing but did I work on any of them this afternoon? No, instead I wrote out in one go this 2,500 word fic that I'm not sure I'll ever post. But I had to get it out of my head - John, who's telling the story in the fic, says that it's not a good story, in the sense of positive, not of well told, and he's right, it's not. I couldn't stand to have it in my head any more.

The thing is.. well, okay, the first thing is that if I don't want it in my head, why on Earth would anyone else want it in their's and therefore it shouldn't be inflicted on the general public. The second this is, though, that it's one of those stories where I'm kind of setting out my stall with regard to my own fanon, and while I've definitely hinted at something like this in John's past, I'm not sure I want to commit to it. Especially since I wrote this as What Happens Next verse. Though it does make sense in that context.

I'm really just rambling at this point, sorry. Go on with your weekend :)

Comments

[gaffsie]

Maybe post it with a warning? Some people like darkfic.

[bluflamingo]

Yeah. I'm just not sure if I want to make it officially part of my own fanon, or if I want to keep that vague. But god yes, to the warning!

[gaffsie]

Difficult choice! I'd post it, but then I've always thought that a good fic is a terrible thing to waste, but I can see why you're conflicted.

[scrollgirl]

1) Setting out your stall? Is that a British idiom?

2) You could post it anonymously somewhere, if you don't want to associate yourself with it? AO3 allows authors to "orphan" their works.

I'm definitely curious now, but I can understand not wanting to share something that might be more id-driven than you'd like. :)

[bluflamingo]

1) I... don't know? It's like - stating my intentions, maybe? That it's basically the story to go with the fanon I use all the time, like the Cadman/Simpson one I wrote last year, that makes explicit the references I'm always making to how they ended u living together post-SGC.

2) I don't know that I want to orphan it (and I couldn't without rewrites, since it's fairly heavily WHN verse, which makes it obviously me). Gotta admit, I'm not actually sure what id-driven means (like a fantasy?) - I think my big problem is that I'm not sure I *want* this to be part of my fanon-John backstory, I might be happier leaving it as hints.

[carolyn_claire]

Call it an AU tangent inspired by your series?

[scrollgirl]

2) Id-driven as in id-fic, which is a term to describe fanfic that indulges an author's (or maybe reader's) kinks, whether sexual or emotional. Like, the Rodney lemon shunning fics are a kind of id-fic, in terms of hitting that high-octane emotional angst. Which is not to say id-fic can't be really well-written or intelligent--but there's always a... an almost visceral relationship between author/reader and fic, less cerebral than, say, my stories that are more like meta in fic form.

1) It sounds like this fic, if it's anything like the Cadman/Simpson one, is half meta, half id. You're trying to say something specific about John, but it goes to a darker, visceral place you're not sure you want to keep as your personal fanon?

[bluflamingo]

1) Yeah, that sounds about right. The vague idea has been my fanon for ages, but I'm not sure I want this exact version of it.

[skieswideopen]

Oh, that's tough. I mean, now I'm deeply curious about it, but at the same time, if it's that bad.... You could certainly post it as an AU of sorts to your 'verse, so that you're not stuck with it in that sense. But if it's a matter of not wanting to be associated with it, or not having it in other people's heads...I don't know.

[bluflamingo]

I don't mind being associated with it - if I really didn't want anyone to know I wrote it, I just wouldn't post it, but I have a thing about putting my own name to what I write (hence why none of my original writing is done under a pen name, even though it seems like most m/m writers do use one).

I think you're right, and I should call it possible canon for that verse or something - so I can change my mind if I want to late :)

[sid]

I'd say don't even look at it for at least a week or longer. You'll come back to it with a fresh perspective.

[bluflamingo]

That's a good idea, thanks!

[ariadne83]

For what it's worth I hope you do post it. Getting it out of your head sounds like it's necessary, and other people don't have to read it if they don't want to.

[bluflamingo]

This is true. I think I'll take the advice above and give it a few days to see if I change my mind - at least now it's written down, it's not in my head any more.