Someone please kill me...

[bluflamingo]

Before boredom does. Seriously, is there anything worse than having to write a 'reflexive report' on a project you hated doing in the first place, for a tutor who you're pretty sure thinks you're stupid and also wrong, and doesn't even know your name after 10 weeks.

Because if there is, I'd really like to hear it, since this is *destroying my will to live*. I'd rather be writing replicator coding with the Wraith... Well, possibly not, since I guess it might eat me if I got it wrong, which I probably would, since I know nothing about coding. But the point is similar, if currently somewhat lost.

I'm glad that class is over anyway - I never felt like it was a safe space where I could disagree with people, and it always seemed like when I made a differing point from the consensus, people took it deeply personally, and with not much respect for people's right to disagree. I'm so glad that tutor's not taking my gender module next semester, which I thought she might be, though I suspect quite a few of the people from that class will be.

See, this is the problem with having a minority opinion - you can never just give it and have people nod along, you always have to explain, usually at great length, what you mean, and then defend it against a bunch of people who basically think you're wrong because you're not giving a majority view. And sometimes it just gets so tiring - like getting asked the same questions every time someone realises I'm gay. I could so live without another ten weeks of it next semester, especially with a group of people who seem to think my disgreeing with them says something terrible about my moral character.

On the positive side, however:
Yuletide fic is done and submitted!
SGA Santa fic is done and submitted!
Under Mistletoe fic is within 5000 words (I hope) of being done, although it's currently hovering at around 20,000 words, unless my ability to add up has deserted me (not impossible) since I'm handwriting it. Which may turn out to be a mistake when I have to type it up.
SG1 Jubilee fic... has a plot. Well, a plot outline. All right, it has a beginning and an end and a vague idea of what goes in between. That's a good start though, right?

Also gatecreation is looking for more people to sign up for their minor character spring fest. Fics aren't due till the end of March, which is more than three months away... even fics that mysteriously spiral to 20,000 words can be written before then.

No offers of salvation from the accursed report then? Oh well, worth a try.

Comments

Re: Killing your tutor...

[army-rat.livejournal.com]

Hello again, sorry I didn’t get back to you yesterday but I have had a cold so bad I left work early (by popular demand) and went home and slept. And since I don’t currently have internet access at home I do all this at work. (I’m waiting several months before I take care of the internet thing at home, long story)

Some of the things you said kind of amaze me. I thought that most of the issues you seem to be dealing with were social issues that my generation had already dealt with and (mostly anyway) put an end to. Obviously I was wrong.

Now even I’m not foolish enough to believe that the whole gay/lesbian issue is anywhere nearly dealt with, but I seriously thought that being openly gay was far more acceptable, especially among younger people, than your experiences seem to imply.

This may be only my personal experience, but I have had openly gay friends since my late teens and early twenties. My daughter, who is 16, has been exposed to a whole realm of people (friends of both mine and her mothers) who practice alternate lifestyles. It’s my understanding from talking to her that anyone professing to be gay (in her high school) has a large and vocal support group. I had thought (foolish me) that since being openly gay (at least in large cities) has been commonplace, though not COMPLETELY safe, for over thirty years that among your age group it would virtually past commenting on. You are telling me that I am very, very wrong.

Being a pagan is another area where I had thought more generalized acceptance has taken place than what you are indicating to me. I remember when Wicca first started to come out in public places (the mid to late 70’s) and of course the first people to come out openly were reviled for it. But I’ve heard the Wiccan religion discussed openly where I work here! (Among the rednecks of the Midwest) Now I’m not going to tell you that they were in favor of it, but the discussion I heard was between several men whose wives were exploring Wicca as their own personal option, and while it wasn’t something these men were interested in at all, they certainly weren’t going to be completely negative about it since it involved someone they love. Again, I thought that this showed a huge amount of social progress that your statements imply is untrue in your personal experience.

Now I personally am Episcopalian, so I have had the gay issue shoved in my face for the last few years and it’s tearing my church apart, which makes me very unhappy. In terms of people that I have known for over 10 years I am closer friends with more gays and Wiccans than I am Episcopalians. (My ex-wife is Baptist and has a lot of the same issues I do! LOL The fact that she writes a lot of slash fanfic makes be wonder at the devoutness of her faith.)

I agree that your generation is less likely to feel the need to disguise who they are when they differ from the norm, although you might be surprised how many people of my generation felt the same at younger than your age. And please don’t feel sorry about admitting that you sometimes blend in to avoid confrontation. In my experience there are only two types of people who are completely indifferent to the attitudes of others. Those who are completely spoiled and those who are ascetics. Both kinds of people are the kind that just make me want to pop them in the mouth! I’m sure that both kinds of people feel exactly the same way about me!  Anyway, VERY FEW people want to be disliked, or be in confrontations constantly, so we pick our battles where we can and keep a low profile when we want to.

For a lot of reasons I have to admit that my background and experiences are very different from the norm for my generation, but I still feel I can speak for my generation as a whole as I’m sure you do as well. We both know our peers, sometimes better than we want to. I’m just kind of sorry that more of your peers are not as understanding and accepting as I seem to find mine.

Re: Killing your tutor...

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

Rats, lj just ate my comment, and now I can't really remember what I said. But I shall try...

I do remember saying that I hope you're feeling better - colds suck.

My theory is that each generation deals with different issues related to a certain group (so your generation dealt with decriminalising being gay, and my generation is dealing [badly] with the idea of gay marriage, for example). So we're always considering the issue in some way. In fairness, a lot of people are fine with the idea of people being gay or whatever the issue is, but there are also a lot of people who are okay with it in the abstract, but not when they actually have to really think about it, and I seem to be dealing with a lot more of the latter this week.

I think you're definitely right when you say that people find it easier to be different from the norm when they're younger, for a whole host of reasons, and that it maybe gets less easy as they get older. I'm less sure about the idea of blending because they don't want people to dislike them - I mean, I don't want people to dislike me, but if they're going to dislike me because of who I am, I don't want to be around them, rather than wanting to hide who I am. I guess I feel quite strongly about this, and I understand that it's an unrealistic desire for my life, but I really don't want to be around people who can't cope with me because I'm gay, or because I have strong opinions or whatever.

The thing is, though, I'm increasingly coming to think that I really can't speak for my generation, because I don't get so many of them, and I don't think they get me. So I guess I don't understand my generation, maybe, or not the reality of what it's like and thinks. Which actually makes me pretty sad, because I always thought most people in my generation were like me in the way they thought, with me being towards an extreme, and now I think, actually, maybe we're on different scales.

Re: Killing your tutor...

[army-rat.livejournal.com]

Good Morning. I still have a cold but I feel MUCH better today.

I’m not completely positive but I am pretty sure it was Heinlein who made a remark about how the children of a generation are more likely to accept the tenets of their grandparents rather than their parents. While I can see how those comments may have applied to children of his generation and older I’m not sure how valid that statement is today. But in a number of things that you have said about your generation I’m not sure that it is completely invalid either.

I am considered a tail-end Baby Boomer. In one way or another I socialize with a fairly large number of people who range from their late twenties to mid-thirties. I find that for the most part the people of that age range who were educated at universities tend to be far more conservative and likely to vote Republican than those either have no higher education or those who were educated at other state and federal institutions. (for that last euphemism read ‘prison’)

I find this to be an interesting change from my own generation where the reverse seems to be true. People of my age who are college educated seem to be more liberal than others of my age who tend to inhabit the ‘lower income ranges’.

God how I both love and hate political correctness. I can be incredibly blunt sometimes but political correctness allows a level of sarcasm that would be unavailable otherwise!

I’ve walked both sides of that income line, and am currently straddling it in attempt to climb back up again. Our mutual friend Dossier is occasionally distressed by some of the people that I hang out with. She seems to feel that if I hang out with losers I will become a loser. But I still maintain contact with some of the people I hung around with when I was on the upper side of the income line as well.

I’ve just read back and I’m not sure exactly where this is headed myself except to say that I DO feel qualified to speak for my generation, even though in a lot of ways it’s strictly by observation. I can feel where you are coming from when you way that your peers ‘don’t get you’. I’ve been there. I’m STILL there. (Remind me to send you my rant on why gay marriage should be legalized, with caveats about when and where it should be recognized by the Episcopal Church. It’s an argument that I took to Diocesan Council in East Texas 4 years ago and had people on BOTH sides of the argument screaming for my head.)

I think you are probably in a good position to speak for your generation, even though that generation may not speak for you. You seem to have pretty good observational skills that include ears as well as eyes. Before you decide that you may be on a different set of scales than others of your age group, please take a look at class structure. America is anything BUT a classless society, but economics are not the only way that class is divided or decided. Take a closer look at how some of your own thoughts and values are different from your peers and compare those across differences that are other than economic and maybe you’ll have a better idea of where your scales connect with theirs instead of just seeing the differences.

You come across on LJ as a very nice person. I would dislike it for you to be sad!

OH YEAH! Remind me to comment on your first paragraph again! I hate it when work interferes with the thought processes!

Re: Killing your tutor...

[bluflamingo.livejournal.com]

I think you are probably in a good position to speak for your generation, even though that generation may not speak for you.

I really like that as an explanation - it seems like something that sociologists would embrace, actually... though maybe not so much nowadays, come to think of it.

You come across on LJ as a very nice person. I would dislike it for you to be sad!

Aw, thank you. So do you.