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It's been a while since I did this, and I'm currently working my way through a number of job applications (Hence why I haven't replied to any of the comments about moving to Canada, I'm sorry, and I really appreciate your feedback, thoughts and things to think about) but I'm seeing it all over my flist and dwircle, which is making me want to do it again...
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
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"It's quiet," he says suddenly.
"Put the radio on," Carolyn suggests. "Don't change the channel."
Cameron laughs but doesn't reach for the dial. "I meant at the SGC," he says.
"Is it?" The infirmary hasn't been especially busy of late, but she's not sure she'd define it as quiet, either. She's not sure she'd ever define the SGC as quiet.
"Last couple of weeks," Cameron says. "Since the Atlantis crew went back."
Carolyn opens her mouth, then closes it. She hasn't asked Cameron about his relationship with any of the Atlantis people, and she's not going to. That said, she'd have to be far less observant than she is not to have noticed that she saw less of him while the expedition was on recall, or that when she did see him, he was usually with Sheppard or Lorne. She's even less willing to speculate about them than she is about Cameron's relationships with them.
What she does know is that Cameron rarely suggests that they go out together on something that will be easily construed as a date without something to prompt it, and there are few stronger prompts than suddenly feeling the need to reassert his non-existent heterosexuality.
"It was nice having them around," Cameron says, sounding wistful.
Carolyn glances at him from the corner of her eye, the way he's slumped slightly against the window, and makes an abrupt re-evaluation, because that look, the one he had in her office, it's loneliness. The kind she recognizes from when she started seeing Kayla and realized it was going to be something she couldn't tell anyone about, especially her father. As a doctor, she's more or less hidden, even as the general's daughter. As leader of SG1, Cameron's really, really not. It's not hard to imagine how good he must have felt, having people around who he knew were safe.
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"It's quiet," he says suddenly.
"Put the radio on," Carolyn suggests. "Don't change the channel." I like the idea of Cam and Carolyn having a platonic friendship built off being queer and new at the same time, though I actually find this iteration, that's also built on hiding each other, kind of sad. And the radio thing is supposed to be a long-running thing between them
Cameron laughs but doesn't reach for the dial. "I meant at the SGC," he says.
"Is it?" The infirmary hasn't been especially busy of late, but she's not sure she'd define it as quiet, either. She's not sure she'd ever define the SGC as quiet.
"Last couple of weeks," Cameron says. "Since the Atlantis crew went back."
Carolyn opens her mouth, then closes it. She hasn't asked Cameron about his relationship with any of the Atlantis people, and she's not going to. That said, she'd have to be far less observant than she is not to have noticed that she saw less of him while the expedition was on recall, or that when she did see him, he was usually with Sheppard or Lorne. She's even less willing to speculate about them than she is about Cameron's relationships with them.
Well, that was a weird and confusing sentence! I can't remember what I was thinking about the relationship between the three guys when I wrote this, though I've written stories where they've all been involved with each other at some point but aren't now
What she does know is that Cameron rarely suggests that they go out together on something that will be easily construed as a date without something to prompt it, and there are few stronger prompts than suddenly feeling the need to reassert his non-existent heterosexuality.
"It was nice having them around," Cameron says, sounding wistful.
Carolyn glances at him from the corner of her eye, the way he's slumped slightly against the window, and makes an abrupt re-evaluation, because that look, the one he had in her office, it's loneliness. The kind she recognizes from when she started seeing Kayla and realized it was going to be something she couldn't tell anyone about, especially her father. As a doctor, she's more or less hidden, even as the general's daughter. As leader of SG1, Cameron's really, really not. It's not hard to imagine how good he must have felt, having people around who he knew were safe.
For me, one of the things I dislike about being gay in a society that still finds it weird is that moment when I have to wonder how someone is going to react if I say something that makes it clear I'm gay. Will they ask lots of prying questions? Get weird about it? Go silent? Make me feel like I have to justify myself? And I live in a city and work in a field where it's much less of a big deal than it could be. So how much harder must it be to be Cam, or even Carolyn, where the stakes are much much higher.
Carolyn's relationship with Landry is interesting as well, to me, though it's only lightly touched on here. I don't think she's out to him, though I'm sure she is to her mother, and I think she lets him believe she's for real seeing Cam while never actually confirming or denying. Partly because the lie is partly to keep Cam safe, more than her, but also partly because she doesn't know him, not really, and she doesn't know how he'd react, and if he took it badly, she can't know what the consequences would be. Plus, she just started getting to know him again, and what it he went into a state of denial or proved to be not okay somehow, and she had to decide what to do next? It's risky, and I don't think she'd want to do it.
Not that I'm projecting my own experience of coming out to my father or anything!
And I ended up talking much more about Carolyn than Cam, so if you wanted to know something specific about him, please ask!