(no subject)

[bluflamingo]

I'm sure it says something unhealthy about my obsession with the pairing, but it's so *nice* to be writing John/Cam again (apparently, I haven't since the end of February). Maybe because I don't have to think so hard about how I want to write them - or not, since this is an AU.

In other words: I finally started my lgbtfest fic (what? It's not due till June, that's ages!), which I even sort of know what's going to happen, for once.

Comments

[bluflamingo]

I was looking at my to write list - other than What Happens Next sequel, which is going so slowly it's not even funny - this is the only John/Cam thing I've got down to write. That's just fundamentally wrong!

[skieswideopen]

That's just fundamentally wrong!

You'll hear no argument from me. Please, go ahead and correct the situation! :D

[bluflamingo]

Well, okay, I maybe have this one other idea, it's just so...depressing... I'm not sure if I can bring myself to write it. And I've had it in my head for months, I've kind of got used to those versions of the characters talking to me (and if that doesn't make me sound crazy...)

[skieswideopen]

They do lend themselves to depressing stories. How depressing are we talking here?

(I do you know what you mean about particular characterizations and moods getting stuck in your head.)

[bluflamingo]

Dysfunction verse levels of depressing, at least for John. Possible depression in the medical sense of the word - Cam's missing presumed dead.

I dunno, it's not exactly a happy verse to have in my head, but there's a lot of Lorne and Keller, and Teyla and Ronon, looking out for John, and I love the characters when they're taking care of each other.

[skieswideopen]

Sounds like my kind of depressing, as long as it doesn't go into OOC types of self-destruction. Which I can't imagine it would, with you writing.

You've got to write what you've got to write. But obviously, it's better not to drive yourself into depression in the process.

[bluflamingo]

Thanks for the vote of confidence - that's actually one of the big things stopping me, I worry no-one would believe John could get that bad. On the other hand, Dysfunction verse is halfway there already.

[skieswideopen]

I worry no-one would believe John could get that bad.

I think you'd have to direct it the right way--suicide runs rather than cutting or starving himself or anything like that. But yeah, you would have a job explaining how he managed to survive losing so many other people without falling apart, and why he's suddenly unable to cope with loss...especially in that he's losing someone he only sees every few months. I admit, that will probably be a challenge. I don't blame you for hesitating.

[bluflamingo]

The angle would be that he's already depressed, in the medical not the colloquial sense (it's set after and so the end, when keller notes that he's not well and she's giving him sleeing pills) and he sort of sees Cam as the one good thing he has that's just his. And so it's less that he can't cope with losing Cam secifically than that he can't cope with one more thing and that happens to be the one more thing.

And yes, more retreating than cutting and suicide attempts!

Oddly, the very first idea I had for a cam/john fic (which I never wrote) was basically the flip of this-john's stranded on earth and they think atlantis is lost, and he's with cam and pretty deressed.